Being parents means taking on responsibilities
A psychologist asks parents not to kiss their children on the mouth. The birth of a child is very often the moment when we rediscover ourselves, a moment when the reasons for our existence and our life multiply as our children grow. Being parents means knowing our responsibilities for their education, their well-being and their personal development, as well as for their sense of being cared for by their parents.
A child truly needs to feel loved and safe in the family environment. For example, some parents kiss their children on the mouth to show their love. However, this tender gesture is the subject of wide debate, and child psychologists have studied it. What effect does kissing a child on the mouth have? Psychologist Charlotte Reznick explains that as children become aware of sexuality from an early age, a kiss on the mouth can create confusing emotional associations for them. In practice, even if the gesture is innocent on the parents’ part, children imitate their parents and may repeat the same gesture with someone else without realizing its intimate character.
She also argues that from the age of four or five, children’s awareness of these matters is still unsettled, and that the lips are a sensitive area linked to the release of “pleasure hormones” such as serotonin and oxytocin, which could leave the child confused. For this reason she recommends kissing a child only on the cheek or forehead.
Other psychologists, however, disagree with her. Among them is Sally Anne, who maintains that this gesture is connected to nursing and is not linked to later problems with sexual orientation or behaviour.
Other ways to show our love to a child
Trust in the child:
When a child is treated as fully in charge of himself, it shows him that you trust him. And when we give a child self-confidence, he feels able to trust others and build social relationships. Of course, we need to explain to him the right setting in which to give his trust to others.
Respect:
Respect is a fundamental value for living in society and being happy. This also applies within the family, and the most beautiful proof of it is respecting the child’s choice even when we don’t share the same opinion.
Encouragement:
Every failure hurts, especially for a child, who finds it hard to manage his feelings. At that delicate moment, encourage the child by showing your pride in him, whatever has happened.
Setting limits for the child
Every growing child needs rules and limits that he must not cross. In fact, when we set guidelines, it shows that we care about taking on our role as parents, which strengthens the child’s feeling of being loved and wanted.
Be positive:
When you are cheerful, the child will feel the same and understand that he is the source of this happiness. Optimism and happiness are both proofs of love and an encouragement to love.
Source: Santeplusmag.com
Note: the views reported here are debated among child psychologists and are not an established consensus.
