“Holiness befits your house, O Lord, forevermore” (Psalm 93:5)
My dear spiritual children and brothers in Christ Jesus, reverend priests and blessed faithful in Canada,
After offering you blessing, prayer and peace in the Lord Jesus, I am glad to wish you all a happy feast of the birth in the flesh of our Lord Jesus Christ and a happy New Year, and I wish you days crowned with spiritual joy and bodily health.
I take this opportunity to address you, my beloved, with this pastoral letter of guidance, which will be followed by other pastoral letters, if the Lord wills and we live. In them I deal with spiritual questions that need explaining, some of which may be very important because they are tied to the life of holiness and the salvation of our souls.
Today we speak about parties. This is not a matter of everyday life, but a social event that may recur several times a year in a person’s life; yet it is an important topic connected with the salvation of our souls.
So the question is asked:
May a Christian attend or hold parties?
May the Church’s institutions do so?
Is this matter clear, or is it a grey area and a complicated point of debate?
Such questions cannot be answered with yes or no, because they require discussing the elements that make up these parties.
The simple answer in principle might be: yes, it is permitted, provided that these parties are free of sin and occasions of stumbling.
In the world, some parties held by the people of this world are dominated by the devil, who fills them with an atmosphere of sin that can lead people to fall into it and bring them to eternal destruction at death if they do not repent. In this atmosphere of sin there is an abundance of indecent, revealing clothing, songs with crude sexual content, lewd dancing, half-naked dancers with their provocative dances, drinking to the point of drunkenness, smoking hashish, taking drugs and so on. The most dangerous thing is that it has become a general social phenomenon in which people compete and act without any sense of guilt, because their consciences have been numbed and the fear of God has left them.
Sadly, many Christians have begun imitating the people of the world in their way of life in most things, including parties, committing all or part of these things depending on how far they compromise, with no regard for God’s commandments and laws:
some because of ignorance;
some because they have not repented and are immersed in various lusts;
some because of lukewarmness and laziness in prayer and the practice of virtue;
some because of pride and hardness of heart;
and others because of indifference and lack of fear of God’s awesome judgment.
If a Christian believer imitates the people of the world in the style of their parties or puts himself in such an atmosphere, does he not expose himself to falling into many sins?
Yes, of course he does.
There is the risk of falling into the sin of lust of the flesh, about which the Lord Jesus said: “Everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). This particular sin, adultery of the heart, the devil never tires of using to tempt even the greatest saints, how much more God’s careless children. Indeed, the Bible tells us that the devil lured some careless children of God with it, and they then fell into situations of actual adultery so grave that even sinners themselves detest them, such as incest. The Bible tells us to resist the devil so that he will flee from us; but sexual immorality is one of the temptations Scripture tells us not to resist but to flee (1 Corinthians 6:18), as righteous Joseph, son of Jacob, did when he fled from Potiphar’s wife and preferred years in prison to doing evil in God’s sight. When fire breaks out, people burn to death if they do not run far from it.
There is the risk of falling into the sin of drunkenness, of which the apostle Paul says: “Neither thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:10). If a believer falls into drunkenness, he loses focus and self-control, his will and resistance weaken, and he becomes vulnerable to the sin of lust of the flesh, as well as to sins of the tongue, foolish joking and vain boasting.
There is also the risk of falling into the sin of causing little ones to stumble, that is, those whose faith is small or who are young in age. This is a very grave sin that brings woe upon whoever commits it, of which the Lord Jesus said: “Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin” (Luke 17:1-2).
So what happens if a Christian exposes himself to this atmosphere and falls into all or some of these sins?
He defiles his heart and mind… He puts himself in a state of broken communion and enmity with God… He grieves the Holy Spirit he received on the day of his baptism… And he stores up wrath for himself that will fall on him on the day of wrath, the day of judgment, if he does not repent, because he has despised God’s patience and insulted him; especially if he attends the Divine Liturgy unrepentant and dares to receive the Body and Blood of the Lord unworthily, adding to himself a greater judgment for making light of this great mystery, the mystery of divine love, the mystery that cost our Lord Jesus insults, wounds, blood, terrible suffering and then death.
What may grieve God and anger him greatly is that some of his children not only slide into holding parties with no restraint or caution against sin, but hold them right after receiving the sacrament of marriage… or after their children have received the sacrament of baptism… and of chrismation… and of the Body and Blood of the Lord at their solemn Communion. They go from an atmosphere of the fear of God, prayer, repentance, purity, reverence, faith, grace and the descent of the Holy Spirit to a purely worldly atmosphere that takes no care against sin.
Is there any sin greater than allowing oneself to turn the occasions of the Holy Spirit’s gifts into an opportunity for sin?
Worse still, because believers are drawn to copy and imitate the world without examination, limits or restraints, a daughter of Christ now wears provocative and immodest clothing and dares to enter the house of God, the church, in it, without any shame or regard for God’s presence, thereby bringing great judgment upon herself because she insults the majesty of God.
My beloved: if it is not right for God’s children to be careless in this matter in public places, how much less in the house of the living God, the church, where the holy altar is and where the Lord Jesus is present in the Holy Eucharist? Oh, how careless and presumptuous we have been!
So how should a Christian behave?
A Christian born of baptism, whose spirit has been enlightened and who has become a child of God, must beware of the devil’s tricks and walk according to God’s commandments with great care, keeping himself from all kinds of sins and occasions of stumbling and from causing the weak to stumble. So he must carefully examine the parties he will take part in or hold, keeping the fear of God before his eyes.
He must think seriously about the salvation of his soul, the awesome day of judgment and the account he will give on that day for the sins he commits by giving in to social pressure and imitating the people of this world. Therefore:
First, observe modesty in dress: a daughter of Christ may not wear immodest clothing that is very tight or see-through, or short so that it does not cover the knee, or that does not fully cover the chest and back. In general, a daughter of Christ should not wear any provocative clothing that causes others to stumble because of fashion, especially if it does not allow her to stay covered when she sits or bends.
Second, choose decent songs, check their content and make sure they are free of direct immoral content or indirect suggestion that pollutes the mind and heart and opens the door for Satan to make God’s children fall into lust. How many such songs there are these days, growing more popular and widespread the lower their moral content sinks!
Third, refrain from provocative dancing, touching that is not innocent and kisses that belong in the marriage chamber.
Fourth, avoid drunkenness, and if someone can get drunk on a single glass, let him avoid alcohol altogether.
Fifth, refrain entirely from imitating what happens at Western weddings with the removal of the garter, done shamelessly in full view of all the guests and before the fiery eyes of the Lord Jesus. May God have mercy on us!
Sixth, refrain entirely from bringing in half-naked dancers to perform lewd dances, and refrain entirely from being at parties that allow such indecency; and if a Christian is caught off guard by such indecency, he must leave the place immediately, without hesitation or second thoughts.
Seventh, let God’s young men and women who are about to marry beware of sliding into holding what is called a bachelor or bachelorette party, with the drunkenness, indecency and impurity it involves.
Finally, my beloved, children of God, so that a Christian can ensure an atmosphere free of sin and stumbling at a party he is hosting, I suggest that he explain on the invitation card what the atmosphere of the party will be and what is expected. Just as in the past, and perhaps still today, invitations asked guests not to bring children, or to give money instead of gifts, or to wear formal dress for a formal event, God’s children today can learn from these examples, hold firmly to a life committed to holiness, ask guests to come modestly dressed and let them know that the party’s songs, dances and drinks will respect what befits the presence of the Lord Jesus. This suggestion may seem strange at first. It doesn’t matter; let us be pioneering examples for our families, friends and neighbours by holding to holiness and rejecting sin, even if at first we seem odd in a society that competes in sin.
But if a Christian is invited to a party and has decided that he wants to inherit the kingdom of God and not compromise on God’s commandments and the life of purity, what should he do?
If the Christian knows in advance that the atmosphere will expose him to temptation and stumbling, he should excuse himself from attending, or at least offer his congratulations and then leave at a suitable time before the occasions of stumbling begin.
The question remains: may Church institutions hold parties?
Those who serve in the Church’s institutions must clearly understand that their responsibility before God is great and that they will have to give an account for it; there is no escaping it.
So if they want to hold any social activity, especially a party, they must check carefully and firmly that it is entirely free of sin, whether it takes place on Church property or in any rented venue outside.
They must be serious in setting rules and instructions for conduct according to God’s will, without sin, and announce them to the faithful many times over several weeks.
And they must be wise but firm in applying them, without slackening or compromising with those who want to allow sin and stumbling in activities held in the name of God’s Church.
And since the activity belongs to the Church, these rules must be stricter than those for private activities, lest we bring double the wrath of God upon ourselves. To avoid disagreement over the standard for measuring the decency of songs and dances and the amount of alcohol, I instruct all our beloved who work in the Church’s institutions to commit, starting with the new year, to the following:
First: allow no songs at all, and replace them with music suited to the measured, collective folk dabke dances.
Second: allow no alcoholic drinks at all, and replace them with non-alcoholic drinks.
If this proves impossible for the Church’s institutions, they must not give in to the voice of the crowd, but take the firm decision not to hold the activity, following the Lord’s words: “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell” (Matthew 5:29-30).
The one who holds responsibility will give account twice over, for himself and for others.
So he must forbid what must be forbidden, and he must also organize and set rules so that no one stumbles. For if we dig a pit to lay the foundation of a house we want to build and do not fence it off or take every precaution, and someone falls into it, the whole responsibility falls on us.
Or if snow falls in front of the house and we do not do our duty of clearing it, and someone slips on it, we are again the ones held accountable.
What applies in civil law applies to eternal life as well. That is why the Lord said of stumbling blocks: “Woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause one of these little ones to sin” (Luke 17:1-2).
And as for the clergy of every rank, married and unmarried: is it fitting for them to attend parties?
What applies to lay believers applies all the more to all the clergy.
If it is not permissible for a lay Christian to take part in or hold parties that do not keep God’s commandments and avoid sin and stumbling, it is much less permissible for the clergy.
How could a member of the clergy do so, when he is God’s steward entrusted with the holy mysteries, with teaching holiness and rebuking sin?
How can a member of the clergy dare to expose himself to the possibility of polluting his hearing, sight, mind and heart?
How can he urge the flock of Christ to a life of purity and watchfulness against temptation when he himself does not care? No, my dear brothers, no; this is not right.
In practice, what should a member of the clergy do if invited to such events?
He can excuse himself from attending,
or make it a condition that he comes to bless and to eat if the meal is ready, then congratulate those who invited him and leave as soon as possible.
In this way he protects himself from temptation, for on the one hand he cannot guarantee what the atmosphere will be once the drinking, singing and dancing begin, and on the other hand it is not fitting for the clergy of every rank and state, who have dedicated their lives to clinging to God, serving him and striving for perfection, to spend their time on the things of this world even if they are free of sin. For their model is Mary, who chose the good portion that will not be taken from her, not Martha, anxious and troubled about many things (Luke 10:41-42). So I urge all our beloved clergy in Canada to conduct themselves this way.
I come now to a story well known to many: the wedding at Cana in Galilee. Does it justify parties or forbid them? How should we understand it?
On the one hand, some forbid the very principle of parties and consider them sinful in themselves, through and through, even if they keep the Lord’s commandments and laws and avoid sin and stumbling. This position is extreme and calls for moderation and reconsideration; and the story of the Lord Jesus, the Virgin Mary and the disciples attending the wedding at Cana in Galilee, where the Lord turned water into wine, is precisely an answer to this extremism.
On the other hand, some use this story to justify parties even when they tolerate sin and stumbling, citing the Lord Jesus’ presence at this wedding. In saying this they are badly mistaken, because they make the Lord Jesus, his Mother and his disciples servants of sin who approve of it. Far be it from the Lord and from them!
Let us look at our mothers and grandmothers in the twentieth century and their modesty in dress and their dignified conduct at weddings and parties. If that was how things were in the twentieth century, what do you suppose things were like for women in the time of the Lord Jesus, when modesty in Jewish society required not only long garments but also a head covering?
And if zeal for his Father’s house consumed the Lord Jesus when he entered the Temple after the wedding at Cana and overturned the tables of the thieves, and then overturned them again more than three years later when he entered Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, would he have kept silent about sins committed in front of him at a wedding, as they are committed at the parties of our day?
So let us beware, my beloved, we who use the wedding at Cana as proof that the Lord approves of our sins: by doing so we blaspheme God.
The Lord Jesus loves us sinners but hates our sins. He loves us, and that is why he does not call us to account the moment we commit our transgressions; if he did, it would be just. But he is patient with us, grieved, angered and in pain, so that we may repent. The purpose of his patience is to give us a chance to repent; but if we misuse God’s patience and make it a new opportunity to sin, we store up for ourselves a greater wrath than the first, which will be poured out on us on the day of judgment.
Some of us may think these words are hard and apply only to consecrated people, especially monks. This view needs correcting. A consecrated person is not only someone who has become a monk or been ordained deacon, priest or bishop; consecration begins when a person is baptized in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. He is consecrated, born again spiritually and becomes a child of God, and his body too is consecrated and becomes a temple in which the Holy Spirit dwells. This is the common consecration.
Then, if our good God wills, he may choose this baptized person and consecrate him with another consecration, to carry some talents according to his ability and according to the good pleasure of God’s will.
Whoever has been consecrated to God through baptism has the promise of eternal life and must walk in holiness as our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ walked, to whom be glory, and imitate the faith and life of our Mother the Virgin Mary, the holy apostles and all the saints.
So chastity means keeping oneself from bodily impurity and from adultery of the heart, and it is a commandment that married and unmarried people must strive for, clergy and lay Christians alike, children of God consecrated through holy baptism.
I fear, my beloved, that you may think I have exaggerated, and that I may seem to you to be joking, as Lot seemed to his sons-in-law when he told them, “Up! Get out of this place, for the Lord is about to destroy the city” (Genesis 19:14). So I want all of us here to listen seriously to the words of the apostle Paul about those who will not inherit the Kingdom: “Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practise homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).
And also to the Lord Jesus’ words about repentance: “Unless you repent, you will all likewise perish” (Luke 13:3).
And to his words about the road that leads to the Kingdom: “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matthew 7:13-14). And also: “Strive to enter through the narrow door. For many, I tell you, will seek to enter and will not be able. When once the master of the house has risen and shut the door, and you begin to stand outside and to knock at the door, saying, ‘Lord, open to us,’ then he will answer you, ‘I do not know where you come from'” (Luke 13:24-25).
What moved me, my beloved, to write this fatherly letter is, first, my priestly and pastoral duty, which obliges me to warn sinners about sin so that they may repent and not die in their sins and go to eternal destruction, for their blood would be required at my hand on the day of judgment, and woe to me if I do not do so. Second, it is my love and zeal for you, old and young, and my longing that we may all be saints whose good works lead those who see them to glorify our heavenly Father. For the Lord wants holiness, without which no one will see the face of God.
If I love you, I must not compromise with you or try to please you, for if I please you in what is not of God, I do not please God.
Pastoral letter
from the Syriac Orthodox Archdiocese of Canada
